I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need a beard to bite.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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