What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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