Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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