just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
