if you like me you must not know who I am
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
