i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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