I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
