people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
