Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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