he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
