Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
