We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
