Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
