Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
