No stitches, just platelets and will power
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
