and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
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Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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