these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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