I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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