DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
