I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
