Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
