Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
