it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize