Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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