If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
