i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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