wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
