My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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