Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
