I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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