I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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