I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize