I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
