Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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