new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
