i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
