hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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