do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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