like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I supernannyed him into submission
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
