Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You have to summon your inner elephant
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
