oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
