wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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