i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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