I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize