D3 body, D1 cock
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
