I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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