Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
