how can u be prego again
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
