i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
