If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
did i just pee glitter
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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