Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
