would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
