He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
