I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
