singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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