Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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