I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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