Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
