They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
