if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
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